Official site of Fast-Food Poet & Poet Laureate of the Principality of New-Utopia, Angus O'Mann.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Rosaas: Intimate Emails (Rated R)

[Editor: These are intimate emails between Angus O'Mann and his "African Rose," Rosaas Savimbi, widow of the infamous Jonas Savimbi. Some of the following is not suitable for younger readers, such as the "Boner" discussion.]

Rosaas Savimbi wrote:

My Dearest Angus,

Good morning, I have read your mail with keen interest this morning. I have to thank you once more and give profound gratitude to almighty GOD for his mercies on us daily.

Rosaas: It was so good to hear from you! It made my day! And thank you for the explanations below! I will speak to each in red type.

I have read and understood your mail. I stand to answer your questions as they come. The word coughing and can not be hidden is just like idiomatic _expression. I mean you have been able to prove it to me that you love me and I can not pretend over that so it has become like coughing which you can not hide, so I love you.

I understand. You are a good teacher of language. If you teach me a little each email, we will speak fluently when we are together. People have told me that I have been much happier lately. I guess I have been coughing up my love for you and coughing more and more. I think I am so in love I have coughing bronchitis or pneumonia so srong are my feelings and so wide my smile. What is "idiomatic _expression"? Is that African for having a dumb or foolish look on your face?

Regarding my empty bed. It is a dream. I have repeatedly had this dream since the beginning of our communication and to be precise the second day you told me how you feel. about me (Love wise).

I have had a dream that keeps coming back about you. Did I tell you about the swan dream? I can't remember because I was, then I wasn't, then I was going to tell you. I'll look back at my emails and if I didn't I will tell you separately.

Regarding sexual ability, Yes am, I have told you that GOD blessed Africa women with all that its take to care for a well deserved man like you. I am capable of taking care of your sexual urge. I do not see sex as a bad thing. GOD almighty said in the Bible "Go to the world and multiply" Now how can this be without having sex with the opposite sex. Sex is a natural phenomenon that can not be ignore when you found the right person to do it with.

I agree! Sex can't be ignore... and why would you want to? I am saving myself for when we will be together. But I have to confess something, and I hope it is not offensive. Please take it as a compliment. I got a boner when I read your words about sex. Unlike other people in my church, I do not think the boner is an evil thing. I think the boner is righteous. I think it is a gift from God, an _expression of love, and a sign that the Lord does not want you to hide your love always, like coughing. Do you know what I mean by boner? Here we also call it a woody, a hard-on or a stiffy. Of course, I mean an engorged penis. What do they call them in Africa?

I warn you, I do have some different opinions on Christian religion. I am deeply religious and study the bible much. But I don't think the Lord wanted us to obey obey obey. I think the Lord wants us to Think Think Think! And challenge and disagree and try to figure things out on our own. Like I disagree with you about homosexuals. I think they are natural because God made them that way. Nobody decides to be homosexual. It's very hard to get laid when you're straight, who would want to make it more complicated, both courting and having to buy special gels and leather and stuff. Also, there's a place in the bible where God said "Go forth, be fruity and multiply."

But that's OK. We can "agree to disagree." And believe me, I'm not gay. Whoa, I just got another boner!

Regarding Dr. Zak, Yes he is, I am very confidence about his company's ability and reliability, he is reliable and trust worthy that informed his position presently. I want to re-iterate that you should endeavor to cooperate with them when you get to Spain. I hope and pray fervently to GOD that you are aware of how important you are to my life now.

Do not worry, my love. I won't disappoint you. You are just as important in my life as you are in mine. I am a little upset with Dr. Yak as I don't think he is adequately serving my needs. But I won't trouble you with those details right now, sweatie pie!

Your loving man,


I hope and look forward to read from you today before your departure.

Best regards,

Your Love,



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