Official site of Fast-Food Poet & Poet Laureate of the Principality of New-Utopia, Angus O'Mann.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

R: Pteromerhanophobia & Telephonobia

Rosaas, my black swan:

I am not playing with your life. I do have a confession to make.

I have a certain number of mental health issues in the area of phobias. I am very successfully treating them with medication and therapy, and am functioning quite normally. One of these phobias is called Pteromerhanophobia, which is a fear of air travel. You don't know how hard it was for me to make flight reservations and pay thousands of dollars to confront my greatest fear. I was driven for my love for you, and the longing of your gentle touch, and that made it possible. But to get on that plane I need to know that there is a strict itinerary: Who will pick me up, where I am staying, how I will get to the office. Mr. Yak, I later found out, DID make a reservation, but only for two days. Where will I go after that? He did not make any graound transportation arrangements. I cannot board the plane unless these things are secure.

I also am working through Telephonobia, a real and very common affliction that is a fear of telephones. I have made great progress in the past year in that I have been able to listen to messages on voice mail. My next phase is to learn to leave voice mail messages. In about a year, I hope to be able to actually speak to another person on a two-way call.

I know these things sound strange. But they will not be as hard to adjust to as the things your husbands Jonas used to do (rape, murder, burn women and children alive, etc.) And when you are my wife, you will be my main wife, not number four out of six.

As soon as Yak can get my detailed itinerary to me I will rebook my flight. I am willing to pay the fee, and have the money withdrawn.

How did you like the dream?

You are my black swan,

Angus

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