Official site of Fast-Food Poet & Poet Laureate of the Principality of New-Utopia, Angus O'Mann.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Rosaas: Goodbye (mature content)

Rosaas:

Your attack on me is vicious and very personal. I shared intimate details about my most sensitive mental health issues. This was very difficult for me. You repaid my trust by scorning me and calling me a liar. You have treated me just like every other woman I have ever trusted, like I am a fraud and a joke. I really thought you were different. I know now that I was wrong.

Yes, I travelled extensively when I was a child throughout Asia, the Middle East and even Africa. In fact, I was in Nigeria back before it was overrun by vipers and thieves. It was a beautiful place back then. My father sold arms and technology on the International market. He brought us children and my mother along so that he looked like a tourist and raised less suspicion. Whenever we reached our destination and checked into our hotel, my father would beat each of us to within an inch of our lives, my mother included. He would tell us every single thing we did incorrectly, every reason we were worthless, as he delivered the blows with his belt or cane. The only time I was allowed to use a phone was when my father was away. He would call and berate me, insult me, belittle me, scorn me as you did, and describe my next beating, which would be more ferocious than the beating before.

You ask when my phobias started? I can tell you the exact moment my phobias started: March 17, 1969, 6:15 pm, CST. It was my tenth birthday. I had on a paper party hat. My mother had just set my birthday cake in front of me and returned to the kitchen. We thought she went for matches to light the candles, but she returned with Father's 12 gauge shotgun. With the first shot she blew off half of Father's face in front of the whole family. The second shot took care of the other half. This was almost a year to the day after I witnessed the death of my neighbor.

Rosaas, or whatever your name really is, you will never know how sad your request for money makes me. I invested over $1300 in a plane ticket which I cannot get back, and was just about to rebook my flight. I showed my travel requests to my psychiatrist, my therapist and my lawyer, to see if I was being unreasonable. Each told me the same thing. Each said they were normal, reasonable requests. That you defended Yak and not me indicated you two are partners, scamming me in some 4-1-6 scheme. I said "Rosaas is not like that. She has never asked for any money." Each of my three of my trusted advisors independently told me the same thing: "Just wait. She'll ask for money soon."

When I got home, there was your email: asking for money.

God bless you, Rosa, and keep you safe. I pray that the Lord will soften your heart, for it has turned hard and black as coal. I loved you, and maybe I always will... Though it seems that the woman I fell in love with, the beautiful black swan of my dream, was an illusion and probably always was.

Goodbye, dear Rosaas. The complete man will have to be complete without you. I must go unpack now, and put my clothes back in the drawer, my cash back in the safe and my dreams, for now, on hold.

Angus

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